the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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