you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
