No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
