I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
