We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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