when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
