Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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