You work out of a Hotel?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
