The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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