I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize