These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
