Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I am naked and annoyed.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize