There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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