i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
