there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
