Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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