it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize