Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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