Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
