he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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