Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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