Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
