We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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