I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
