You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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