Christians are straight up FREAKS
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
