I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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