no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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