I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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