16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
