Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize