So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize