Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
