does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I need to stop coming to work sober
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
