saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need water and some morals
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
