Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize