i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
