i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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