WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
