every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
how do flat chested girls get laid?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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