Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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