Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
