I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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