Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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