you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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