i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
