I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
