I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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