I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We have started to decorate penises.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
