what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
