these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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