he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She told me I should be a condom model.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
