and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
