Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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