the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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