while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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