She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize