At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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