Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
