i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Randomize
