ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize