you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
