i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
where am i from again
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
