oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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