Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I checked into jail on foursquare
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize