When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
