I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
